I’m going to bitch about stuff. I know it’s not my way, but I seem to be getting easily agitated of late. Either I’ve developed the male version of PMS or I’m not getting enough sex.

Subway
When did Subway get so fucking shitty and why has no one else noticed? Everytime I go there I think holy fuck is this a terrible sub. Seriously why don’t they have mushrooms or pineapples as a choice of topping? Thank god they have shredded carrots though because I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my sub without a handful of those fucking things. Not to mention the fact that the meat in their subs is now closer to horse meat than what it’s supposed to be - mmm delicious horse meat. Hell maybe that’s how Jared got so thin, they chopped off his belly fat and are now putting it in their cold cut combo. Yet everytime I go by the one in the mall at lunch there is a line at least 20 deep. Personally if you’re looking for a sub try out Quiznos or the long lost Mr. Sub. They kick the living shit out of Subway.

Tim Horton’s
I realize I don’t drink coffee, but seriously people can it be that good? The Tim’s in the East end generally has a line of 40 cars which makes it impossible to get in and out of the parking lot (which serves other outlets). Maybe the better question is are you so fucking lazy that you can’t park your car when the line is full and walk inside when you need to buy some crack? I say crack because it has to have some addictive agent because I can’t think of anything good enough for me to wait that long for – especially on a daily basis. 40 guy lineup to bang the hottest broad on the planet, I’ll look for the second hottest broad thanks. 40 person lineup to buy the most delicious booze ever, I’ll survive on the shit brands.

Walking
Am I the only person alive that can sense the presence of other humans around me? I swear one of these days I’m going to hold my ground and drive every asshole into the ground that doesn’t at least attempt to make room for me to pass in the other direction. I realize you may be talking to your friend, but is their story about how their kid shit their pants at school so interesting that you can’t watch where you’re going? Plus if you see a pretty thing in a store look around before you park your fat ass in my way. Saying sorry and giving me the “I’m a douchebag” grin really doesn’t cut it.

Merging
I realize this is a difficult task for my Saskie friends, but what the fuck. Regina likely has the longest on ramps I have ever seen and yet all we can get up to is 50 kmph prior to entering the 100 kmph freeway. Amazingly within seconds on the freeway everyone speeds up to 100 kmph, but that’s after we’ve all barely survived the clusterfuck that is merging at half the speed of those currently on the roadway. I have written about this before, but I swear it’s getting worse.

Home Depot
It’s nice that you say we’re here to help you, but if I can’t find one of you for miles when I’m in your store then who cares. I particularly enjoyed getting shit at the till when I cut my own chain because I couldn’t find a grandpa working out his golden years to give me a hand. The lady at the till having the audacity to tell me she could refuse to sell me the chain because I didn’t follow proper protocols was pretty damn infuriating. The more frustrating part was when she tried to call someone in that department and couldn’t get a hold on anyone. Hmm I wonder why. I particularly enjoyed when she asked her other till mates who was in that section and they suggested they weren’t sure if anyone was in that day. I’m sure my comment of “really?” likely didn’t help things, but I couldn’t resist.