Do you love playing video games? I mean really love it. Do you start a game and look away from the screen what you think is “ten minutes” later and realize that it is dark outside and everyone except for your “team mates” online have gone to bed? Do you continue to play even when girls walk by topless? Wait. You didn’t notice she was topless? Fucking idiot. Have you ever been dumped because you play too many games? You deserved it.

If you are over the age of 13 and you do not get paid a handsome salary for programming or advertising said games then you are a loser. Not a little one either. There are very very few people in the world who make their living playing video games, or marketing their skills as video game players. Thus there is an even smaller chance of you actually making any money treating it like it is your job.

Games are supposed to be fun and challenging and a short-term distraction from the trials and tribulations of your own life. You can plug in and shoot some cops or aliens or whatever for a little while and let out some frustration and stress and then go back to work and real life. That’s all. Video games are not a marketable skill. Whatever game you play is not preparing you for real life in any way. I know all about the police simulations and the army simulations. I have even experimented with them from time to time.

I have read numerous articles on them. They all say that they are not a substitute for real life experience. They are a no consequence situation, thus they are a stress free environment. Not reflective of actual events. When I receive your resume applying for a position in the office, do not write that you enjoy playing video games. That means you are a shut-in and as previously stated a loser. I enjoy playing video games. I only advertise that fact to friends. Video games provide me with entertainment when I prefer to be more engaged than just sitting and watching television.

Sometimes I win and sometimes I lose. When I am doing poorly I can turn it off. I can’t turn off a fire on the refinery if I fuck something up. I can on the video games. Hence the stress-free environment. Nobody actually gives a shit. You shouldn’t either. Have some fucking fun and when they are not fun anymore turn them off. You can do that with a game. Not with your life.